So while I know I'm not a social person and I tend to be kind of a no-show, I am actually feeling like secluding myself more lately.
First of all I have decided that I am simply not meant for the world of cell phones. I generally dislike mine, despite my efforts to get a cool one. I just don't like to be reached. I long for the days when people just had answering machines at their homes, if you were lucky enough to have an answering machine, and if you didn't answer that meant you were out or busy. No one is allowed to be out or busy. You are allowed to be at work, and you are allowed to be asleep, but even asleep you should be sleeping with your phone near you in case of emergencies. I have recently started that habit only because my phone is my alarm clock (one of the only handy dandy features I actually use besides the phone book) and luckily I have yet to have anyone call me while I tried to sleep.
I even went so far as to get a home phone so that I wouldn't have to carry my cell around the house with me so I can hear it. Unfortunately I never made the effort to give out that number so we only have crap callers call that phone, or Carol when she's out of town. In general I don't like to answer my phone and only answer when Carol calls. Otherwise I just listen for voicemails, which since everyone is fairly aware that I never answer my phone, those phone calls are few and far between. Except for my family.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my family and I love spending time with them, but I almost never answer their calls. Generally the calls are FYI: you owe me money, don't forget so and so's birthday, are you coming to the (various events)?, and I hope you are alright, we miss you. Not all together bad calls..except for the owing money one. But its what happens when I actually show up for these events. It usually consists of an in person FYI about money, followed by a question of how we're doing financially. If Carol is there she gets questioned about whether she has found a job yet, and how classes are going. If she is not there, those questions are directed at me. How is working going? And here is the honest answer to all of these questions: we're falling on our faces. Life is kind of sucking. We are living in a daily ebb and flow of fighting, crying, and clinging which is emotionally draining as it has been going on for over a month now. We are exhausted, frustrated, annoyed, and generally depressed. But we're trying to make it through together.
And while there is something to be said for leaning on your friends and family when things get hard, its not really how we function. What we do is probably intensely unhealthy but its the only thing that works for us. We fall apart into each other and hold on tight. We wait for the answers to come. In fact leaning on other people is generally how we have gotten into every major fight in our history together. As you may have noticed Carol is an intensely private person and the mere thought of other people knowing that everything in our life is anything but perfect is extremely upsetting for her.
I don't know how long this separation from the digital/cellular world may last, but I'll be in Winchester until it all blows over...or somewhere else if we end up moving. But I still have my cell if I need to be reached and I will still check my online doo-hickeys. Of course, as usual, don't expect any speedy responses as time seems to be simultaneously speeding past and as slow as a snail...or those huge slugs I recently discovered by house....which helped me realize that slugs freak me out. Who knew.
Oh I don't know what you gonna do, with me,
Because everything I hid in my heart, I just set free,
And I don't wanna skate away- (don't think so anyway),
I just want to sit in this storm with you.
I just want to sit in this storm with you.
Well I've been runnin' runnin' runnin' to fast, for too long.
But you stop, stop me right in my tracks, 'cause I was wrong
Keepin my foot out the door, doesn't work for me anymore,
I just wanna sit in this storm with you.
And when it's pourin' for days, pourin' for nights,
Smearin' all the words alright.
I won't leave you babe, I am with you babe,
We have a deal, yes we do.
I'm gonna soak you up and let it all in, one day,
I'm gonna shoot down all of the stars, I wish away,
'Cause I can love you from the sunshine blue,
To the clouds greyer hue,
Just wanna to sit in this storm with you,
I just wanna to sit, in this storm, with you.
*Adrianne--Storm*
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
You know you want more updates on my work life!
So silver linings...dashed. I finally got in contact with the driver's dispatch who said he did not send another driver to pick up and that he was sending the driver who was out there delivering home and he would not be making another run for us.
I spoke with the lovely Alberta and she said she had no knowledge of the situation and I could make a claim for the detention time with someone else.
I attempted to fill my promise and I found a lot of people who were willing to move on Friday but were unable to move Thursday. I was, however lucky enough to get one driver to move on Thursday, who also wanted to move on Friday. I called Alberta and she said she was full, she did not need any drivers for Friday and if she wanted drivers for Friday she would call on Friday. She told me to bring whatever drivers I had already said to bring but that was it.
So I send out my driver who arrives at noon....that is the last I hear until I get in in the morning.
I come in and have another voicemail...another wonderful voicemail telling me that it is 3:30 their time and they were just told that they are cutting it off for the day and for everyone to come back the next morning at 6:30. So that is what my driver does today.
I called and he was 20th in line and was told they won't be loading until 7. I get a call at 9 their time from dispatch saying that she is pulling her driver from the load because they havent moved an inch in 2 hours.
I called Alberta. I spoke with a sweet young lady named Sarah, explained the situation, and she asked if I wanted to speak with Alberta. I said sure. Next thing I know I am listening to a pathetic little voice saying, "This is Alberta. I am out sick today...." Thats when I hung up...with mild laughter.
So now I am speaking with my trucking advisors in regards to what I should be expecting on this. Is she gonna expect wait time for having a truck sitting around for this load practically 24 hours? Or because she pulled the load before 4 hours of consistent wait time is she just expecting to be out the money?
I have a feeling I can't get written up in this situation. Basically Alberta threatened a whole bunch of carriers to get as many trucks out as possible but I get the impression she never had any records of who was moving what and when. I can only imagine the amount of money they will be wasting on unused trucks ( ours is $500 per). Sigh. I had such good rates for these loads, but the one truck I am moving, while it was quoted at less than $300, due to the detention time, that one truck is coming in at just under $2,000.
I spoke with the lovely Alberta and she said she had no knowledge of the situation and I could make a claim for the detention time with someone else.
I attempted to fill my promise and I found a lot of people who were willing to move on Friday but were unable to move Thursday. I was, however lucky enough to get one driver to move on Thursday, who also wanted to move on Friday. I called Alberta and she said she was full, she did not need any drivers for Friday and if she wanted drivers for Friday she would call on Friday. She told me to bring whatever drivers I had already said to bring but that was it.
So I send out my driver who arrives at noon....that is the last I hear until I get in in the morning.
I come in and have another voicemail...another wonderful voicemail telling me that it is 3:30 their time and they were just told that they are cutting it off for the day and for everyone to come back the next morning at 6:30. So that is what my driver does today.
I called and he was 20th in line and was told they won't be loading until 7. I get a call at 9 their time from dispatch saying that she is pulling her driver from the load because they havent moved an inch in 2 hours.
I called Alberta. I spoke with a sweet young lady named Sarah, explained the situation, and she asked if I wanted to speak with Alberta. I said sure. Next thing I know I am listening to a pathetic little voice saying, "This is Alberta. I am out sick today...." Thats when I hung up...with mild laughter.
So now I am speaking with my trucking advisors in regards to what I should be expecting on this. Is she gonna expect wait time for having a truck sitting around for this load practically 24 hours? Or because she pulled the load before 4 hours of consistent wait time is she just expecting to be out the money?
I have a feeling I can't get written up in this situation. Basically Alberta threatened a whole bunch of carriers to get as many trucks out as possible but I get the impression she never had any records of who was moving what and when. I can only imagine the amount of money they will be wasting on unused trucks ( ours is $500 per). Sigh. I had such good rates for these loads, but the one truck I am moving, while it was quoted at less than $300, due to the detention time, that one truck is coming in at just under $2,000.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Work Vent Update
So. I still have not heard back from anyone I was trying to talk to. But I called my driver. At 6:30a their time this morning, he answered the phone and I asked him what happened yesterday. He asked if he could call me back because he was trying to get into the Port. ..... ..... Into the port???? You mean the port you were supposed to deliver to last night? Yes...yes that port.
So he calls me back and tells me what happened...which had very little to do with a booking code. He arrived on time at 2:00 and was loaded....then he was unloaded....then he was reloaded. At 5:00 he was still waiting for his paperwork to be complete. Guess when the port closes...anyone? anyone? yes. 5:00. So the woman working on the paperwork looks at the clock and says to him, "you're not gonna make it, are you?" No. So he leaves Fort Lewis at 5:15 and does not arrive at the port until 5:45. And in all technicality, they stop letting people unload at 4:30.
Silver lining...maybe? Well there is this wonderful little clause built into our contracts called detention time. Now for us, in the contract we made with the government, we charge $150/hour, 2 horus free. But according to the trucking system they wait 4 hours and we give them $75. So for his evening sleeping outside the port he will be receiving $675 and we will be getting in $975. In theory if we don't ahve to battle with them over it.
Another silver lining? Maybe. He told me there was already another one of their drivers loading at 6:30 and that he wanted to go back and do at least one more load. Yahoo I get to live up to what I told them.
But we'll see how well this goes by the end of the day.
So he calls me back and tells me what happened...which had very little to do with a booking code. He arrived on time at 2:00 and was loaded....then he was unloaded....then he was reloaded. At 5:00 he was still waiting for his paperwork to be complete. Guess when the port closes...anyone? anyone? yes. 5:00. So the woman working on the paperwork looks at the clock and says to him, "you're not gonna make it, are you?" No. So he leaves Fort Lewis at 5:15 and does not arrive at the port until 5:45. And in all technicality, they stop letting people unload at 4:30.
Silver lining...maybe? Well there is this wonderful little clause built into our contracts called detention time. Now for us, in the contract we made with the government, we charge $150/hour, 2 horus free. But according to the trucking system they wait 4 hours and we give them $75. So for his evening sleeping outside the port he will be receiving $675 and we will be getting in $975. In theory if we don't ahve to battle with them over it.
Another silver lining? Maybe. He told me there was already another one of their drivers loading at 6:30 and that he wanted to go back and do at least one more load. Yahoo I get to live up to what I told them.
But we'll see how well this goes by the end of the day.
Work Vent
Okay so this story starts with Monday. On Monday I get a call for loads going from Fort Lewis, WA to Tacoma, WA---12 miles. Easy. So the lovely woman at Fort Lewis, Alberta, she's a wretched bitter woman. I told her I may be able to get her three truck out of the five. She says, "maybe? Don't say maybe because if you say maybe and you don't follow through then I am going to write you up and you won't be able to move any more shipments for 90 days." "Okay.....well let me call my drivers to double check, call me back in ten minutes." So I scramble...everyone is a maybe, "give me a couple minutes and I'll get back to you." I finally get one guy as a definate who can only move one truck. She never calls back. Great.
So Yesterday she calls again, and I had called my drivers on Tuesday and asked if they would have any trucks available to move and they said probably 3 on Wednesday. So she calls while I am out and I had my phones forwarded to my boss's cell phone. He answers and immediately understands how charming she is. I write down her phone number, tell her I can get her three but I will have to double check with my drivers. So we finally get back to the office and I call my drivers and they can't move it. So I call her back and ask what time she wants to load and she says no later than 3:00. So I post the load on the trucking system and after 20 minutes I get a call for one guy to move his one truck, not three...just the one. But I get him set up, I call Alberta and tell her that I've got a guy who will probably load around 1:30/2. I get the address for delivery and I get back to my guys. Well 2 is really 5, and I am out by 4:30. I also did not have my cell phone with me to forward my phones...so I was just crossing my fingers that I would get back to work with messages saying when they delivered.
Today I come in...and I have messages. The first one is a hang up...the second is my driver saying that it is now 5:30 their time and they are at the delivery point and they can't get in. They are being told they need a booking code. Now when I spoke to lovely Alberta, she told me they don't need anything, they are good to go, she was going to put them down for moving that load, and all they needed to do was get to the Port and everyone will tell them what to do and where to go from there. The pick up with get them all set with what they need and addresses to deliver. Well.....I have no idea what is going on now...because it is 6am their time now and no one is picking up their phones. I have no idea whether they were even able to deliver. And Alberta wanted me to pick up two more loads at 6:30....but she won't answer her phone. Unfortunately this company were the ones willing to pick up the other two loads...if they didn't get screwed with having to wait for pick up or delivery...which they did. So I am truck less and I don't know what this means.
I really don't want to get written up for her issue becuase she never provided any further information to give to my drivers and they didn't want to move. I also never promised to move the other two loads for the next day but she will probably hold that against me anyway. Sigh. I'm going to try to fix this major fuck up now.
So Yesterday she calls again, and I had called my drivers on Tuesday and asked if they would have any trucks available to move and they said probably 3 on Wednesday. So she calls while I am out and I had my phones forwarded to my boss's cell phone. He answers and immediately understands how charming she is. I write down her phone number, tell her I can get her three but I will have to double check with my drivers. So we finally get back to the office and I call my drivers and they can't move it. So I call her back and ask what time she wants to load and she says no later than 3:00. So I post the load on the trucking system and after 20 minutes I get a call for one guy to move his one truck, not three...just the one. But I get him set up, I call Alberta and tell her that I've got a guy who will probably load around 1:30/2. I get the address for delivery and I get back to my guys. Well 2 is really 5, and I am out by 4:30. I also did not have my cell phone with me to forward my phones...so I was just crossing my fingers that I would get back to work with messages saying when they delivered.
Today I come in...and I have messages. The first one is a hang up...the second is my driver saying that it is now 5:30 their time and they are at the delivery point and they can't get in. They are being told they need a booking code. Now when I spoke to lovely Alberta, she told me they don't need anything, they are good to go, she was going to put them down for moving that load, and all they needed to do was get to the Port and everyone will tell them what to do and where to go from there. The pick up with get them all set with what they need and addresses to deliver. Well.....I have no idea what is going on now...because it is 6am their time now and no one is picking up their phones. I have no idea whether they were even able to deliver. And Alberta wanted me to pick up two more loads at 6:30....but she won't answer her phone. Unfortunately this company were the ones willing to pick up the other two loads...if they didn't get screwed with having to wait for pick up or delivery...which they did. So I am truck less and I don't know what this means.
I really don't want to get written up for her issue becuase she never provided any further information to give to my drivers and they didn't want to move. I also never promised to move the other two loads for the next day but she will probably hold that against me anyway. Sigh. I'm going to try to fix this major fuck up now.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Silence
Do you ever have so much going on in your head that you are desperate to get out but you know there isn't a single thing you could say that you won't regret later? Because you know you're just frustrated and you want to vent but you only half mean everything you're upset about and even if you do mean it, you don't want to really admit to it. Yeah...my life is kinda like that.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Anniversary
Today is Carol and I's anniversary. Sort of. Carol and I first exchanged our vows 5 years ago today at midnight on a beach. We decided from then on that we would spend the rest of our lives together and get married again every year. On our fourth anniversary, we had our formal wedding with friends and family and the whole affair. Except that was on the 10th as opposed to the 8th because the 8th fell on a Thursday. So is it our paper anniversary or our wood anniversary? I think we have decided to continue celebrating our anniversary on the 8th. Why let a good tradition die?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
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