I have discovered that I am losing touch with my friends. I know I don't show up to functions or call or even call back when I've been called, but please don't think that means I don't care, or that I don't want to be a part of your lives. And I realize that there really aren't many people in my life that know what goes on with me or much about my relationship other than that we are together and have been for nearly five years. I don't want to lose the people that I care about. You were at my wedding for a reason: because I love you. Because I have known you and considered you my friends longer than anyone else in my life. Because even though I am a crappy friend who doesn't stay in touch, I know that if I ever really needed you, you would be there. Because even though since I've met you I have had other friends that have come in and out of my life, it wouldn't mean anything to have them there, but it meant the world to have you there.
So this is it: the insight into my life.
For the past nine days Carol has decided to stretch Valentine's Day into a week. Last Friday she surprised me when I arrived home with a long stem rose and a nice dinner out. At dinner we decided to get drinks and what better place to get drinks than at our bar? So we drove 3 hours down to Staunton, VA to "get our drink on" as my neice says. We were a little disappointed when we got there that they had a band, which is a new trend they are doing of live music every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But at least I did like the band as the lead singer had played at the theater previously. But it was great to walk in and have people get excited over seeing us, shocked that we would drive all that way just to get drinks from Baja. But, considering the price of alcohol and the price of gas it kind of equals out....except for the hotel room that night..which probably pushed us over. The next day we saw her sister, went to the new Chinese Buffet in Waynesboro, and went bowling. I almost won.
On Tuesday or Wednesday of last week Carol took me out to another dinner at the Japanese Steakhouse. We were all alone at our table because it was 5:30 on a weekday. But the food was good as always and the time was well spent together.
Valentines Day is always tough for us. I was never very big on the holiday myself before Carol and I were together but Carol was. She was. For the past 8 years its been kinda rough for her and Valentine's Day never does run smoothly. We have had many failed attempts at a nice evening but this year we really pushed it through. We got reservations at the Westin in Alexandria for the weekend. It was lovely, really it was. The staff was a lil meh to bitchy but the room was lovely which was the part that I was interested in.
I worry for my mother. I mean I know they haven't always been happy. I was recently told during wonderful family dinner after my parents shared probably have a bottle of Jack Daniels that my mother was in a deep depression once and that I got mad at her for it and that made her push herself out. Apparently it was when I was in high school and she wanted to get a divorce and I was too absorbed in my own depression to really give a damn about hers. But since then my Dad has been an angel. He really has. They make random vacations throughout the year alone together. He always buys her flowers at least once a week. He keeps the drinks coming because he finds her absolutely adorbale when she's drunk and he is so clearly in love with her. For Valentine's Day they didn't really have any plans. My Dad asked my Mom to make him some chocolate chip cookies which she did. But on Valentine's Day I woke up to a voicemail from my mother asking me where I was, when I was coming home, and that she missed me because she hadn't seen me the last couple days. I would have hoped she'd have been too busy to wonder where I was, or maybe even ask my Dad if he knew where I was in case she forgot. But I'm starting to realize the only way for them to both know what is going on is to tell them both individually because they never share any information with each other.
But I suppose they have had plenty of Valentine's Days in the past 30 years that they don't need to do something special everytime. But this was our first really special Valentine's Day where we actually made plans to do something special. And I was pleased that it went off without a hitch, an argument, or any form of silent treatment. In fact we spent nearly six hours Saturday night drinking champagne and wine talking...I have no idea what about though because those bubbles do go to my head rather quickly and she woke up with a hang over.
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